Tag Archives: cigerettes

Silence

15 Feb

Silence.
Nothing but silence.
Deafening silence.
She stared at her bedroom ceiling waiting for some kind of sound, but nothing.
It was driving her crazy.
She rolled over to her sides and picked up her phone to see if he had replied but nothing.
Is this how its suppose to end?
On a Valentine’s Day no less.

He didnt end it explicitly, he just said “take care”. What was that suppose to mean? She needed closure so she pushed and probed but silence.

It was unbearable.

That silence was unbearable, as was that gnawing feeling at the bottom of her heart.

It was a feeling she couldnt put down in words.

Her heart felt heavy.
Like it was made of lead, sinking with each waking moment.
Every breathe she took felt like a burden, like her lungs were full and that she could take no more – any more and they would burst like the balloon she popped yesterday in jest.

What a difference a day made.

But she wasnt sad.
She stared at the mirror in the bathroom, at the face that was staring back at her.

It showed nothing.
Blank.

She thought she might be suppressing her emotions so she tried to make herself cry but it didnt work.
Her eyes were as dry as beef jerkies.

Beef jerkies.

Ha.

She tried to force a smile instead, but the corners of her mouth wouldnt stay up without her fingers propping it up.

She got hungry so she headed to the fridge for food.

Empty.

Like my heart.

There were biscults left in the cupboard so she grabbed one.

Tasteless.
Bland, like it had no reason to exist except to fill an empty gapping hole.

Bland, like me.

She spit out the dry bits, reached for a cigerette and beer and stood by the window watching the people below.
Still trying to figure out what was wrong with her.

The beer and cigarette felt tasteless too and people watching was taking a toll. She crawled back into bed in an attempt to sleep it off but all she got was the deafening silence from her phone.