3 Little Words

1 May

helene klimt
I think they are over-rated.
Definately over-rated.
I mean, I haven’t said it for a very long time because I couldn’t find anyone to say it to.

And yes, even though I think it’s over rated, that doesn’t mean I don’t think it means something.

It takes a lot of courage to say those 3 little words.

They are like the windows to my soul, those words.
Windows that have been closed because the wind hurt me with their cold harsh ways.
So you see, I’m really just following my nature instincts here to protect myself.
And if you are interested to know, it really does take a while to open up a window that has been jammed shut.

Ask any one who has had the privillege of trying to pry a stuck window open.
It takes time, and not to mention, effort.

So don’t rush me, give me so time.

I can’t, and don’t know how to say them easily.
Its like I have a nature aversion to them – I start stuttering, my tongue gets thick, my palms get sweaty and I feel sick in general.

You get the picture.

I can see how disappointed you are whenever you think “this is it! That’s when she’s gonna say it!”, and I don’t.

Yes, I can see that.. how your little glimmer of hope fades away as I try and change topics.
As time goes by, I see that glimmer less and less, I didn’t know what to think of it other than you giving me time to sort my thoughts out.

I have taken some time, and worked my kinks out, and I’m finally ready to say it.

I love you.

There.
I’ve said it – I love you, more than I expected to actually.

And I’ve started pacing the room, clutching my phone anxiously, waiting for your response.

Nothing came.

This. Was. Not. Suppose. To. Happen.

I half expected to ‘hear’ you smileacross the virtual sea at my acknowledgement of my own feelings, but nothing of that sort happened.

You were not supposed cajole these words out of me, and refuse to acknowledge them!

What am I suppose to do now??

Disappointment was starting to kick in, so did dread and anxiety.

The phone was now my arch enemy for the silence it perpetuates.

I laid down in bed, exhausted from all the pacing, anticipating and eventual disappointment.

A few hours later, the enemy finally gives in and rings with an incoming text –

🙂 I know, I love you too..

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How Gender Studies Saved My Life

1 May

Thought Catalog

I remember the first time I entered a Gender Studies classroom. It was two years after completing my undergraduate courses in literature at NYU. Undergrad had not been the best experience for me. A starry-eyed freshman new to NYC, I soon realized that to be taken seriously in class I was expected to live by theoretical texts penned by dead white men. A far cry from my alternative under-funded public high school in Minnesota, I struggled. It wasn’t only that the theories discussed in class were challenging, but I found more and more I did not agree with them. As an 18-year-old student I did not have the language to critically engage and be taken seriously by the professors who worshipped these schools of thought. But I went through the motions and continued school, because that’s what I was supposed to do — right?

Fast-forward three years and I completed…

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The Practical Buddhist Guide To Romance

1 May

I’ll be Bat Girl!

Thought Catalog

One evening, my girlfriend Daphne and I found ourselves confronted with red cardboard hearts and post-it love letters on the restaurant’s door after a dinner. We read all sorts of cliched phrases such as “I love you forever” and “I am always yours” written on the post-it notes and the experience forced us to look deeper into people’s strange take on love and romance. We realized how possessive people can get when it comes to ‘love’, and it is quite perplexing that our society continues to perpetuate such an unhealthy obsession.

As we walked out of the restaurant, we told each other how lucky we are to have a different point of view on love. We joked about writing a Buddhist Guide to Romance to enlighten other people and realized it’s probably not a bad idea after all. My girlfriend is a Catholic, but we just happen to naturally adapt…

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30 Greatest Quotes About Women

28 Apr

Thought Catalog

There are only three things to be done with a woman. You can love her, suffer for her, or turn her into literature. Henry Miller
Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men. Joseph Conrad
I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, their failure must be but a challenge to others. Amelia Earhart
Women kill me. They really do. I don’t mean I’m oversexed or anything like that — although I am quite sexy. I just like them, I mean. They’re always leaving their goddam bags out in the middle of the aisle. J.D. Salinger
And yet women — good women — frightened me because they eventually wanted your soul, and what was left of mine, I wanted to keep. Charles Bukowski
As usual, there…

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Clever French Literacy Campaign Will Make You Look Twice at Ads

28 Apr

Flavorwire

French ad agency DDB Paris recently won a Yellow Pencil (one of the highest awards given by the UK’s Designers and Art Directors Club) for a literacy campaign that cleverly transforms common advertisements into emblems of illiteracy awareness. The ads, which we found translated into English over at the Huffington Post, even fooled us (and we are relatively literate, we assure you) for a moment — that’s how attuned our eyes and brains are to traditional advertising cues. We just glossed right over that huge “Unfortunately.” Check out the award-winning campaign after the jump, and let us know what you think in the comments.

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Like Missed Connections, But for Half-Forgotten Books

28 Apr

Flavorwire

It’s happened to everyone — suddenly, you’re seized by a vague, faint memory of a book you read somewhere, sometime, but can’t put your finger on what it was called or who wrote it, or even enough of the plot to Google your way to the answer. But have no fear, nostalgic re-readers! i09 has tipped us off to What Was That Book?, a Livejournal community (remember Livejournal?) dedicated to helping you piece together the scraps of your recollection. But even if you don’t have a forgotten novel tugging at the back of your brain, we suggest taking a look — we immediately got sucked into reading through the requests themselves. Not only is it interesting to see what details people hang on to, but now we definitely want to seek out and read these books ourselves. We’ve pulled a few of the weirdest, most awesome-sounding queries and excerpted them after…

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The 10 Best Songs We Heard This Week: Kelis, Janelle Monáe

28 Apr

Flavorwire

It’s Friday, which means we are contemplating the weekend ahead and also, as ever, rounding up the best songs we’ve heard this week. This week we heard not one but two great new pop songs in the space of seven days — from Kelis and Janelle Monáe (with some help from Erykah Badu) — something that happens once every decade or so! We also celebrated the returns of Carter Tutti and Kode9, got even more excited about upcoming records from The National and Pure X, listened to Owen Ashworth (he who was once known as Casiotone for the Painfully Alone) doing gospel music, and more. Click on through and get a-listening, dear readers!

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Thoughts

27 Apr

Image

She sat at her table, staring blankly at the screen infront of her, while the so called discussion swirled around her as background noise.

She wondered what was wrong with these people, the answer was right there staring at them in their faces and yet, none of them saw it.

It was right there.

Everyone was just skirting the issue, typing furiously on their keyboards – the actual content of what was being taken down as ‘note’ was secondary to them sounding like they were busy doing something.

She didn’t get it. She couldn’t.

Why does one NEED to pretend like they were busy when they are not?

So as to appear productive, efficient and hardworking, when all they are doing was run around in circles?

Seems just about right.

She couldn’t take the so called ‘discussion’ anymore.

She bent down to pick up her bag from the floor and started chucking her stuff in it.

She could see the puzzled faces looking at her, wondering what the hell she was doing in the middle of a heated discussion;  she didn’t care.

After she had all her stuff inside, she swirled her chair to face the exit, stood up and walked out.

Someone called out to her, but she couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying.

Not that it matters anyway, she just wanted out.

She walked and she waited and she walked agin until she was finially out of the massive, cold, grey building that held her caged for a good part of her life and saw the sun for the first time.

Not that she has never seen the sun before, just not in that way.

It was exceptionally bright, warm and not to sound too cheesy, but the the sunlight hitting her face full on actually felt hopeful.

For the first time in a very long time, she felt like she could breathe again.

A smile slowly creeped across her face –  she was enjoying the moment.

And then, reality hit her.

She had just walked out of a job that she desperately needed to keep her home and to pay her bills.

The smile quickly left, replaced by tears of anxiety.

What was she suppose to do now?

Where can she go?

The tears wouldn’t stop flowing and she felt desperation again.

Maybe I’ll just call in sick.. That I had a nervous breakdown or something.

I’m sure they’ll understand.

Life in Black and White

25 Apr

Back to Burma

25 Apr