I am a strong, independent woman, but I am also human

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I don’t want to sound like a little whinning bitch, but I am tired.

I’m tired of being that strong, independent, dependable problem solver that everyone expects me to be.

I like being independent and being able to take care of myself but sometimes all I want is for someone else to take care of me too.

To decide and plan my day for me, tell me “its ok don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of this mess”.

I don’t need you to do that all the time, 24hours a day, 365days a week. I don’t need that really. I might just kill myself (or you) if that happens. I’m just asking for a few occasions, that shouldn’t be too much to ask right?
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I enjoy the amount of freedom and independence I have.

In the words of a relative of mine (I don’t like her much..)- “You have too much freedom and independence. More than what most girls have, you should have been a boy instead..!”

For your information, I don’t think (or believe) that girls should be treated any lesser than the boys.

Half the boys/men I know expect to be taken care of too!

You know what’s the worse thing about being a strong independent woman?

People tend to take you for granted.

People just simply, naturally assume you don’t need any love, care of concern because you are SOOO self sustaining.

You are not expected to cry or whine or throw tantrums because you are above all of that, and sometimes, this belief is so strong that we ourselves begin to believe in it and start behaving like the boys. We don’t cry, we don’t whine nor do we throw childish tantrums because, hey, that’s what the girly girls do.

We are way cooler than that.

When we do throw the occasional tantrum or shed the occasional tear, people stop breathing –

“You are crying? Are you serious? I thought you were half a man!”

Yup, that’s right.

No consolations, no nice words, no offers of tissue, nothing!

Just an expression of shock.

Like they’ve just realized I’m a bloody living, breathing creature.

And frankly, I’m tired of cleaning up after everyone’s mess..

If you have the ability to create the problem, you are obliged to solve it.

Dont turn to me with your big brown eyes and expect me to hold your eye and walk infront of you as we navigate the landmines you have indirectly planted.

Sorry honey, been there done that.
Now it’s time for you to have a taste of it too.

I have my own landmines to navigate.

If I’m always expected to give and give and give, I have nothing left to give myself.

It’s exhausting.

I am only human, no matter how capable I may seem to be.

Cut me some slack, and treat me as humanely as you possibly can.

I can be highly fragile.
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3 thoughts on “I am a strong, independent woman, but I am also human

  1. abrainwithfeet says:

    I feel the exact way… I can feel for you. Our “inner strength” can only bring us so far. It is the facade or our front. Wenuse our strength as a sheild. It protects us from all the bullshit of the world. But! Our constitution as an individual is not limitless. We have our down times too. Having someone to open our vulnerability, our fears and our mistakes is vital for us to keep our sanity…

    1. panalyah says:

      So true..! But sometimes people take strength for granted. They tend to assume that because we are strong, we are superhuman too.. Sigh.. It gets so tiring sometimes..!

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