Yes, I am talking to you.
You have been going on and on for the last 3 hours about how popular you are and how many guys are left panting in the aftermath of your glorious presence.
And how much you enjoyed flirting around with these said men, how annoying they can be, constantly trying to vie for your attention, buying you drinks and rescuing you from the other less likeable, less good looking guy.
You have been going on and on about how you just want to have fun. You don’t really like all that attention, and that it really isn’t your fault that men are attracted to you.
Yes, I get it.
I fully, sincerely, totally know what you mean. Not that I have to go through THAT whole ‘center of the spotlight’ thing, but yes, I figured I get what you mean.
Frankly, its starting to get on my nerves.
Not the center of attention/attraction part, but your whole whinning and lamenting part.
I’ve heard that same story for the umpteen time, so please stop it already.
I understand why flirting can be fun, and probably only awkward people like myself would be totally afraid of it.
But thats not the point.
True, it really does suck big time when I spy this really cute guy across the room, and want so badly to approach him and start doing what you do – flirt, that’s the word, but clam up at the very last second and make a complete fool out of myself.
Its fine really.
I’ve always looked back at those experiences as events I’ll live to tell my nieces, so they’ll feel less like a loser should it happen to them as well (I sincerely hope not..).
Again, that is not the point.
What I’m really trying to ask of you is to spare a thought for mere mortals like us.
Mere mortals who do not have your long endless legs, your deepset eyes, your ample bosoms, FLAWLESS SKIN, shinny hair and exotic good looks. Mortals like us do not have your excellent genes, we have average length legs, that sometimes end a little too abruptly. We have average run of the mill looks, but we are happy with what we have.
AS LONG AS YOU STOP RUBBING IT IN OUR FACES ALREADY.
I celebrate my awkwardness and frankly, I think I’m a pretty interesting looking. 😛 But there are and definately will be days where we wake up and feel like we need to smash all mirrors in our line of sight just to avoid looking at the face that stares back at us. There will DEFINATELY be days like that.
There will also be days where we would feel that sudden impulse to buy an air ticket to Korea and have them cosmetic surgeons fix our faces to look like that or that:
Yes. There will definitely be days where we hate ourselves so much we just want to curl up at home in our sweat pants under the smelly blanket.
But on days where we feel fine enough to head out into this cruel, impressionable world, we really don’t need you to make it any worse than what we already know it to be.
Isn’t it bad enough that you good looking people get away with so much more than we mere mortals do with the simple fluttering of your lashes (my lashes are way too short for fluttering..) or a twirl of your hair?
Do we really need or want to be regaled with stories of your conquests EVERY SINGLE DAY?
It’s fun the first few times but thereafter it just becomes tedious.
I don’t hate you, nor am I jealous.
Just spend the next 10seconds in our shoes. I’m not asking for much, just 10seconds will do.
For mere mortals like us, we are our greatest enemies, along with the tons and tons of media influencing us, telling us constantly that we are not good enough.
That we need to be thinner, we need bigger boobs, smaller waists, perkier asses.
That we need a bigger wardrobe, bigger shoe cabinet, bigger bag closet.
We are supposed to be female Gordon Ramsey in the kitchen, ex Kate Middleton current Duchess of Cambridge in public and a vixen in the bed room.
There are so many invisible enemies surrounding us already!
We don’t need you to add on to our insecurities and insufficiencies.
We can leave the men to do that..
Put yourself in our shoes for that few seconds and try to see things our way.
I bet you feel the same insufficiencies and insecurities as we do.